Blaaaaah

Man, this month is just flying by. Every time I look at the calender I seem to have lost days without even really feeling 'em. We finally got our Christmas tree up the other night. The house has that nice pine smell to it and it feels a little more like Christmas now. We broke out the boxes of ornaments, decorations, and stockings. I think it's the giddy feeling in your gut that I enjoy so much but now it's over watching Marcel get so excited about it. He's been counting down on his little bear calender everyday. It's getting harder to shop for him every year but I think we did good. We actually got some of our shopping done the other day but we have a ways to go still. The plan is to knock the rest of it out while Marcel's at school. Now if we could just get out of bed at a decent hour to make that plan work, we'd be doing real good.
This month is always such a busy one with so many birthdays and Christmas. We went out to eat with Helen, Micah and Kelly a couple days to celebrate Chris's birthday with him. Today is my brother's birthday and in just a few days I hit thirty. Wow, it doesn't really feel any different I just don't like saying it. Denial is far too tempting a thing sometimes.
I've stopped scanning pictures for a while mostly because some of 'em just bring up some pretty strong memories. I never realized just how many photos we had until I started really looking at them. Wow, it's amazing how the time passes so quickly. I wish I could pop back in time now and then, tap myself on the shoulder and whisper a word or two. Stuff like "Pay attention here.", "Forget it, it's nothing." "Don't." or even just, "Smile." I wouldn't want to interfere too much (I don't want to fuck up the space-time continuum or nothing) but just give a nudge now and then to help. We are an accumulation of our actions after all, mistakes and successes, but who can't use a nudge now and then right? I guess this year I'm just feeling a little lost at the end of the year.
The next few days are going to be pretty busy and maybe that's what I need to get out of this weird funk. Tonight we go out to celebrate my little brother's birthday. Tomorrow is a riding lesson, and a Boy Scouts Committee meeting, Friday is Marcel's school lunch followed by poker that night, and Lana has a party on Saturday. Sunday I hit thirty. Yeah for me. ;)
Well, I have work to do somewhere I'm sure. Blaaaaaah.